Assalamualaikum wbt. bismillahirahmanirrahim. may ALLAH bless and protect each of us always. this entry you can call as a reply to someone's entry. allahurabbi i'm shaking while typing this entry.
dear friend, before i begin, i just wanna say sorry for a thousands or even millions times. yes, everyone can make mistake and as a normal person kita tak pernah terlepas daripada buat salah whether kita perasan or not. what happen since six months ago surely make you feel sad right. i'm sorry. hurm i dont know how to start it again. till now i still dont know how to start it. i never forget you, i never forget our past memories, and to be honest, you are the only friend that i remember your phone number. sometimes i really want to talk with you but then i dont know how to start so then i just forget it. i let my ego to control myself. yes, thats the problem.
past few months ago, in april maybe, i seriously want to change. change the way i treat you but then i failed. failed because my ego. and as i re-call back the real point why our relationship being like this, it was just a SMALL matter. yes, i admit it. i keep asking myself why because of that small matter only, our relationship became like this. and for sure it was my fault. i'm sorry for that. i'm too sensitive. take something "joke" for serious. my bad.
yes friend, i already forgive you. i cant deny that. i'm truly forgive you. as i told atin in past few weeks, i have forgive you but the problem is i dont know how to face you, i want to talk with you but i dont know how. the ego still here. i'm truly sorry for make you feel that you're such a stranger. but please believe me that you're not a stranger to me. but indeed, you're still one of my bestfriend.
alhamdulillah for these few months i have changed. changed to be a better me for the sake of ALLAH. alhamdulillah i'm more open minded, not be too sensitive, can control my emotion and etc. i'm sorry for make you waiting for such a long time. and i know that you must be tired waiting for the day to come. i'm truly sorry for what i've done to you. i'm sorry for everything. sorry for left you behind.
by the way dont ever think that mereka salahkan awak, because they never said that you are the one who are wrong in this case. indeed atin always nasihatkan saya about this. even she rarely talk about it but sometimes she would be like "have you forgive her?" "why you still didnt talk with her".. i cant deny that i always run-away from those questions. yes i did.
bismillahirahmanirrahim, i still love this relationship for the sake of ALLAH. insyaAllah ukhuwah fillah till jannah. i'm sorry my dear friend. btw, the old filzah faiqah maybe will be so emo while reading your entry and while posting this entry. but alhamdulillah while reading your entry i just cant stop myself from shedding tears. yes i realised that was my fault. thanks for being such a good friend in the past, now and the day after. sorry for not being able to be such a good friend.. and owh yeah i still love you, uhibbuki fillah =')
thanks for reading. assalamualaikum wbt...
