randomly

Assalamualaikum wbt. bismillahirrahmanirrahim. may ALLAH bless and protect us always, amin. actually saya tak tau nak post pasal apa. i got so many things to story about, but then bila dah open blog nih, minda jadi kosong. so then i decided to type about anything, randomly. apa yang terlintas dekat fikiran ni, insyaAllah.

i am an unpredictable person. like seriously. even i myself cant expect what will i do, i say etc later. sometimes im too childish, too matured, too sensitive, too hyper, weird and so on. but believe me, insyaAllah, i'm still the old filzah faiqah that you knew before. maybe i've changed but changed to be a better filzah faiqah for the sake of ALLAH.

i noticed that since i moved to samtish, i rarely talk with my male friends either new or old. i admit it. tetapi itu lebih bagus kan. even saya active berborak with 4-5 of them, but the conversation just active in the social networking site only. in reality maybe i never talk with them, mungkin juga kami pernah bercakap but we just talked about important things. sepuluh patah perkataan pun mungkin tak sampai. allahua'lam.

next, i never think that i have secret admire. and until now, saya tak pernah terfikir pon akan ada kawan lelaki yang menyimpan minat, perasaan dekat saya. why? hurm i dont know. maybe this way is better for me. its not about when i feel like that so i will feel free and can do whatever i want. not at all. honestly when i keep thinking like that, i can be my own self. no need to cover while walking, talking etc. just be who i am. btw, saya sentiasa meletakkan rasa malu itu paling atas sekali when i face those male friends. thats why saya tak suka berdiri dihadapan kelas, walking depan sekumpulan lelaki and etc.

furthermore, what will you feel if a boy/girl confess about his/her feeling towards you? if this happen to me, pada saya tak salah, sebab berterus-terang itu kan such a good thing, tapi perlulah pilih masa yang sesuai ye. but saya lebih suka kalau dia just keep it as a secret between him and ALLAH. always pray to HIM, and insyaAllah if we really meant to be, HE will show the way. and by the way i think i will be very awkward with that person also after he confess his feeling.

but as i said before i never think ada hati kaum adam yang terusik dengan saya. eerrr mungkin ada lah kot, allahua'lam. tetapi saya tetap nak deny, so that saya tidaklah over mahupun terperasan lebih. saya pernah kata instinct saya nih kuat kan, but dalam hal-hal macam nih i always deny those feeling. sekarang nih better kita focus on our study ye kawan-kawan yang dirahmati ALLAH. bercinta dan berkasih-sayang selepas kahwin itu kan lebih indah. dan semoga ALLAH mempertemukan kita dan jodoh kita adalah dengan imam-imam (kaum adam) dan makmum-makmum (kaum hawa) yang menyintaiNYA melebihi segalanya dan dapat membawa kita menuju syurga Ilahi. amin. insyaAllah.

**pra and trial spm dah semakin dekat. mari semua kita usaha sama-sama dan berjaya sama-sama. fid dunia wal akhirat. insyaAllah. batch 95! fight fight fight! allahuakbar! and i'm sorry to all of you if i had done anything wrong to you guys.

thanks for reading this post. Assalamualaikum wbt. take care always. =')